"taylor swift cant sing"
"taylor swift is a slut"
"taylor swift only dated harry styles for fame"
"taylor swift is a bitch"
"taylor swift is an amazing human being who dont need to hear your shitty opinion"
You think someone is a good person, then they start shit talking Taylor.
When I’m somewhere and a bunch of little kids start running around:
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING
i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid
I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face
whenever i see these post-apocalyptic films set in the USA where everyone is pretty much just killing each other with no mention of other nations i always just assume that the rest of the world is fine and has learnt how to resume life as normal
IM MAKING A PIE AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IODINE IN IT INSTEAD OF VANILLA EXTRACT
I ALMOST FED THIS PIE TO MY FAMILY
I WAS GOING TO FEED THIS PIE TO MY CLASSMATES
I WAS ABOUT TO MURDER PEOPLE THROUGH PIE
LIKE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PIE
DOESNT IT LOOK NICE
DONT YOU WANT TO EAT IT
TOO FUCKING BAD ITS POISONOUS YOU’LL DIE
HOW DO YOU MIX UP IODINE AND VANILLA EXTRACT
WHY DO YOU HAVE IODINE IN THE KITCHEN
WHY DO YOU HAVE IT AT ALL